Friday, September 17, 2010

It's Not So Bad. WHAT???

As you can tell, it's been a while since I posted a new entry to my blog. Chemo has been knocking me on my butt. I don't usually use that word in print but it's the only word that fits. I have been told the cumulative effects of the drugs are building up and it takes longer to recover from each treatment.

Well, the treatments are over. It's been two weeks ago today. And I must believe the above statement. Not only do I still have an almost zero appetite, but one of the drugs is eating the much needed, necessary potassium and magnesium my body needs to function. I have spent two to three days a week in the chemo lab getting four to five hour bags of these chemicals. That is in addition to taking liquid and supplemental pills at home twice a day. Without the proper levels of these minerals, my little ole heart could malfunction, among other things happening. It gets irritating spending all my days hooked up to an IV pole, but I keep seeing the benefits of it waaay down at the end of that long corridor called "Cancer Free."

The journey has been hard this hard summer and it's not over yet. But when I sit back and reflect on the good that has come from this - yes, that's what I said, "good," I can almost make them outweigh the bad, the uncomfortable, the unpleasant, the inconvenience, the sadness.

Allow me the freedom to elaborate:

Professionals who have taken care of me and make me feel as if I'm the most important person in the room. Strangers who have become friends from encounters day after day or week after week in the chemo lab. Even the regular morning workers at the fast food place I frequently patronize when I have an appetite and can drink a glass of sweet tea and eat a hash brown patty. Getting to know the families of people I see everyday that I didn't know six months ago. Mail and cards from friends and some people I have never met that have grown into a huge stack I shall treasure for a long time. Random emails and phone calls from loved ones. Customers from our plumbing business that send word by our employees that they are praying for me. Food dropped off by friends and church members. People I have never met face to face whom I met on the Webkinz for Momz page who became Facebook friends and constantly comment on my posts on Facebook and have sent me home made prayer shawls and lovely sewing accessories for my quilting room. And this is just to touch on the "good" that has come from this dreadful summer of cancer and chemo.

I cannot forget my Lord and Savior, who has comforted me when I cried, calmed me when I panicked, soothed me when I crashed in tears and self pity, and reassured me He is here. He is close. He is holding me. He knows all about it.

Compared to the bad - - the bad could be a lot worse. I have a good prognosis. I have a huge support base. I am trying to keep my sense of humor. I have Mike, the boys, the girls, the grandkids, the sisters, the Mama, the in-laws, I'll go to bed now.

Thank you, Jesus.