Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Bad Day Has Arrived

When I decided to write this blog, I decided it wasn't all going to be about breast cancer. I have more identity than breast cancer. However, today it will be about the side effects of chemo That is, after all, part of the title.

Taking steroid pills the day before, of, and after chemo treatment is a good thing. Until they begin to wear off. Sunday morning, I just wasn't able to get up to go to church. I sat in my chair all day. I did some embroidery, I watched the Andy Griffin marathon, I played on the computer. Mostly, I sat. And tried to get up energy to get up. But the energy was not there. Sunday night, I slept pretty good. Monday morning, I was washed out. Took a shower and put on make up, styled my hair but laid right back down and didn't get up. Not even able to embroider. Today, was just horrible. Until about 2 p.m. I was napping and when I woke up I felt a little better. Still haven't been able to eat much. And drinking fluids is so very important but trying to swallow is hard. I keep plugging away at it, but it's just not fun.

Mike brought me some popsicles and I ate part of a baked potato a few minutes ago. Cantaloupe tasted really good today. When people talked about feeling bad from chemo, I had no idea how bad that was. And I'm sure my experience is not near as bad as some others.

Friends have encouraged me to blog. And that's what I'm doing. So you get to hear all the bad things and the good things. And if I can help someone else through this somewhere down the road, I'll be glad. There may not be a lot of mind boggling revelations or high and inspired spiritual truths, but this is me. And me is what you get.

I cannot close today without telling where my strength comes from. "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isiah 41:10 Even though sometimes I may not display that confidence outwardly, deep down I know Who's in control.


  1. Rhonda, I just read your latest blog. I got cold chills when I read it. It seems like yesterday when I read your comments. I don't know where to begin. My heart goes out to you, my prayers to up for you and my body sits in that chair with you. I had no idea of what "zapped" meant as well as too tired to go potty, having to rest after a shower, letting your hair dry before you had energy enough to style it, trying to eat, forcing down all that water ( Tamie was my "water police"), mouth being sore, NOT wanting to talk, not being able to read-- all those thing bring back the true essence of chemotherapy. I can tell you that I do not presently dwell on that now, BUT at the time-- I did ! You mentioned having an identity other than cancer -- you do-- but right now ALL your energy, prayers and strength will be devoted to surving one more day. Bad days are ahead, but BETTER days are to come. Your priorities will fall into place much more easily ( they are now- but will be better after this battle), you will appreciate the LITTLE things, you will love your husband more, cherish your children and grandchildren, while your heart goes out to your mom as she watches you day by day, and soon you will be praying for and encouraging someone you love, someone you have not yet met, or an acquaintance in the way I am attempting to encourage you today. Don't be afraid to say, I feel awful, I can't eat that, I don't think I can drink more water, my body aches,- I am sick, don't try and be too brave-- face the demons because they are there. But it is worth it-- it too shall pass, and all those other wonderful cliches. BUT, now you have to rest, take care of yourself and fight! My heart goes out to you , my prayers go up for you and my body sits in that chair with you. I love you Rhonda, Brenda DePriest